Gonna miss him so much

I am so in love with a guy name EDWARD CAMINS. We have known each other for 4 years, but get into as a couple for nearly 3 years. He maybe have lots of weaknesses and especially his status, but i do love him.

Although I love him, i don't trust him 100%. I just can't put all my trust in him. Because he is far away from me, and i am afraid if i trust him with all my heart, that i myself get into pieces and unable to get up.

We may sometimes very boring couple, may be due to LD nothing to go. But we will try to manage our precious moment to be together. I thank the GOD almighty for bless our relationship, and both of us hope our way of life is according to HIS will.

Another 1 1/2 year he will finish his study, and there will i know how my future with him. I do hope there's future for us, and all my love ones are able to accept him just the way i accept him.

Serve with ur heart.....

I feel like the more i i want to get close to HIM, the more challenge and devils try to poison my mind. But i believe in pray the rosary. Though it takes time for my brother to tell his own feeling, but i really have faith in it. With my mum's sickness coming back, i believe there's a reason behind it. As i grow gracefully with my age, my ways of thinking and serving had changed little by little.

I am only a human beings that full of sins and need forgiveness for my heavenly father. But as HE say, to follow his will, dun worry 'bout tomorrow, i am still trying very hard to do it. I need to grow my faith and know the purpose of my serving in the church. Is it because i am boring in LD?? is it i'm the chosen 1?? or will i continue to serve wherever i may be??

1st, i need to know my main serve in the church. If i haven't find the answers, seek and u will find, knock and it will open your heart. There are many people who had serve in the church, but as time goes by, not every1 can continue and some even had forgotten the church. But, will i be 1 of them?? I certainly hope that i won't be like that. Need to find the main reason serving, then i'll know, i won't fall so easily.

Just continue to have faith and hope in him. The most importantly, to pray daily so that HE can show me the way.

EMOTIONAL AND SENSITIVE...

My hubby told me dat, i am very sensitive and emotional lately..Is it b coz he's not around wit me?? No, i dun think so!! It's just dat i take thing seriously. Wanna do things perfect, to change my self more better and a lot...If i am not gonna change again...i'll look old....my gudness....

Evry morning, i put a smile on my face...and dun take thing seriously (but it's all depend on the situation) Emotional...yes..smtimes i can't control it. Maybe or I must start 2 handle my emotion and pray to HIM to guide me in my evry day living...

I dun want 2 think a lot...dun want 2 take things seriouly, and dun want 2 be so so so sensitive!! It's not healthy and i'm gonna look very old sooner...i am just 25!! I dun want people say i look like 30.....NO WAY... Put a smile..in evry thing i do...dun olwez cry, for my eyes will look sadden all the time...^__^

Thanks hubby for gv me a spank 2 open my mind...I am not gonna be so sensitive anymore...wat happen...just happen..for dat is GOD's will...AMEN...

DYA..HERE WE GO....

7 March 2010..dis is the date dat i am going 2 remember for the rest of my life....!!! Y?? b coz, it's the launching of DYA, logo and youth's prayer!! I am so proud of myself for being part of the 1st DYA of diocese s'kan, and if 1 day i may not serve in youth anymore, i will olwez remember dis date, a history had been marked and will document for the whole year through, and if 1 day i go back 2 my heavenly father, it will remain a history and for the new generation 2 reflect back.

I am so proud b coz it was held in my hometown SANDAKAN. This is where i've been baptized and confirmation, and i never thought dat GOD called me 2 serve in the youth, or at church. since dis is the way, he showed me, i will try 2 walk according 2 his way. and if 1 day, i fall. i knw dat i have frens dat can pick me up and going through all the challenges dat we might be facing....

I luv HIM a lot..when i was so much into thinking 'bout my life, financial, my relationship, he showed me the way to walk his will. I can feel him, with the holy spirit. Thnk you LORD for being inside me. I know there's a lot of challenges dat i am going 2 face, but with ur guardian angels and the holy spirit 2 guide me, i believe dat i can go through it. AMEN.

Lent season

hi blog...sorry forf neglect u for almost 1 month. although i olwez online, but i forgotten 2 update my blog....by the way, month of Feb chinese new year, buzy collect my ang pao...hahahaha....and prepare for parish youth recollection, and there's so much dat i want 2 think until i got my headache.....hehehe....

dis weekend, my JAVAS frens are going 2 Manila, i want 2 go, but my financial is unstable, i've beem through all the obstacles when u dun have any money left, then i took risk using my credit card, in the end, i owe a lot. luckily, GOD show me the way, and i took out some KWSP money 2 pay all the debt...and left only 2000....i do hope my hand and my heart won't buy things dat unnessaryly....jealous them going there...yeah..i agree...but seriously, my financial stable just started 2 b stable, if i go there again, what happen if i have emergency?? or my laptop and my car gv me headache?? do i want 2 ask from my parents?? no...of course not....except i am in the middle emergency dat i really2 need money, then i ask from them....

my parents 2 achieve 2day financial stable, had long way 2 go, i remember my father took part time job just 2 feed us, my mum owe people's money, i saw them going through there, and i dun want 2 go through what had my parents go through, then i have 2 start keep my money, and buy only the important things, if i have extra, then i can buy what i want the most.

2 have a steady financial is very difficult, and 2 have even more too have difficulty. but i would like 2 have a shot 2 go for direct selling, i just want 2 try. But only with GOD's will, materialistic not gud, but if u just want extra, y not?? Guide me Lord according 2 ur will.....amen....

MONTH FEBRUARY....

Yuhuuu....end of charity dinner!! After 4 months of preparation, finally it was a blast dinner on 30 JAN. Dance wit brother stanley, eating, make-over, and most of all i won lucky draw. although that ticket was bought by my uncle, but i was the 1 chose which ticket were my uncle's ticket. I wrote down my name, and never thought that the ticket got the lucky draw. I won a handphone. Since my nokia hp is getting worst, it was a pleasant and surprising that i can exchange my hp. hahaha....

1 thing for sure was, i've been invited 2 become 1 of the committe member, but i dun want 2 be part of it. but anyway, i was the receptionist on dat nyt. happy, happy, njoy, njoy, dat's all i can say.

The best thing 'bout february is dat valentine's day!! And my hubby is coming back 2 attend his anty's funeral. Though he will only b here for 3 nyts, and i know dat he will be very busy, but at least i can be with him for this 3 nyts and celebrate pre-valentine wit hubby. hehehe....(*_*)

If this is the road that both of us have to take, then we take it. s long s he is in my heart, gonna take this long and full of challenges road to walk through it. Coz i believe and have faith in my LORD dat HE too will take this road along with both of us. He will never leave us alone to take this road. AMEN.

3 nyts, i'm gonna spend my 72 hours wit u babe....mmuuaahh....

End Of January...

Yes...30/01/2010!! Finally after 3 months of preparation..the charity dinner has arrive! Evry1 in LD especially those who are involve in this dinner are excited, full of energy, and sm may get headache!! Hahahaha.....

The theme for dat nyt is back 2 yesteryears, but i dun think so dat my dress suits the theme. Nah, s long s i hv smthing 2 put on, not naked, b grateful wit it!! At least save my budget... :-) How i wish dat edward is wit me during dis dinner, unfortunately it is her late sister's 40th day prayer. Wow, so fast the time had passed dat i dun realise dat it's her 40th day.

How i wish and hope he is ryt here wit me. wanna hug him 2 comfort him. so then, gonna create new post again for the month February...hahaha.....end now my dis month blog, do hope for the best next month feb 2010...